Monday, March 4, 2013

My Friend's Say They Are Moving To Oakland... (Stolen from Broke Ass Stuart)

See Full Article HERE

My friends say they are moving to Oakland because San Francisco has let them down. The douchebags are winning. Divis is clogged with Google buses. Valencia is drowning in shmancy new restaurants. North Beach is full of knuckleheads. Mark Zuckerberg bought a house in the Mission. The artists are leaving. The city is gentrifying.

My friends say they’re moving to Oakland because the rent is cheaper. The landlords aren’t looking for ways to kick you out. You won’t have to have six roommates. You won’t get outbid for a room by some dot-com fuckface. You won’t have to be a mildly well-known writer just to get invited to interview for an affordable room. When you break up with your girlfriend, you won’t have to keep living with her for two months since neither of you can afford to move out. They say they’re moving to Oakland because it’s the town that could, not the city that already did.

My friends say they’re moving to Oakland because there’s more space. They extol the many merits of Lake Merritt. They’re moving because there’s room to park your car. There are parks in the hills from which you can see stars. They’d rather see the view of San Francisco from afar. My friends say they’re moving because they can have a backyard. You can have a vegetable garden and chickens and dogs and potbellied pigs. Actually, one of my friends doesn't know if she can have a potbellied pig. But she really wants one.